Trust
noun
assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something.
one in which confidence is placed.
Trust is something that is essential to any relationship, friendship or collaboration where we interact with another being. Sometimes it may feel inherent because we know someone or feel like we know someone well. Our pets trust us to feed and care for them and we trust them to love and be loyal to us. The key in the definition above is the second word ‘Reliance’, this is the actionable part of trust that builds the foundation. When we know we can rely on someone or something we trust it. Think about a trust fall, where you close your eyes and lean back hoping your fall will be broken by someone catching you before you bust your ass or head. That reliance leading to safety is paramount.
So you may be thinking ok buddy, I know what trust is why are you making it the focus of your year? Because as our world shifts and we grow trust and those that we place trust in also will likely grow and shift. The times we live in we have seen a great distrust sown as well, by different facets of the media, people that are supposed to be leaders and perhaps even those closest to us. This can shake our foundation and perspective of the world very deeply and almost without us knowing impact how we approach new people and situations. Worst of all when trust around us is broken it can make us question if we can really trust ourselves.
Now of course the seemingly obvious answer to building strong trust is clear, direct communications paired with aligned actions and follow through. But let’s be real, life isn’t that simple or cut and dry. If it were it’d probably lose it’s luster and spontaneity probably as well. So how can you focus on trust with others and start to build it with yourself? What’s the benefit of exploring trust and wading through the drudgery? Joy, growth, opportunity, the ability to plan and also adapt to uncertainty! That’s one thing I want to clear up: trust most certainly is centered on consistency, but it doesn’t grow from you controlling everything either thus the ability to adapt and grow.
Another funny thing about our brains and trust, really isn’t that funny. Sometimes those closest to us or people we feel like we know very well can be those that most easily break our trust. Why is this?
Because we’ve likely built a foundation of trust and when they do something that would betray that or we feel is out of character we often jump to doubt that or question how it could be true. Or a greater issue might be that we refuse to acknowledge a new pattern of behavior/actions until a point of crisis or bypass it completely. Now I’m not saying to go and question your friends and family without merit or to start living a life of blind skepticism, but I am taking this somewhere you might not expect.
Why do we not trust strangers? Is it really because we don’t know anything about them or is it based in fear instilled in us about others from a place of caution? Being cautious is good, but what if we were less predisposed to approach strangers with a high level of skepticism? Some of my closest friends were strangers when I first met them as an adult either at a concert, riding bikes or in some other community. But what I’ve noticed post-pandemic is there’s a greater mistrust to start instead of the excitement when we were kids on the playground and after a brief introduction, finding some commonality likely made a human connection.
To start the new year, thanks partially to social media and a music community I did just that! I met two people that I never would have if I wasn’t open to friendship. Two good humans that we connected via music initially in excitement for a show, but on so many other commonalities in the experience of life walking the French Quarter, sharing dinner and dancing our asses off ringing in the New Year! I feel like this was a reminder for myself that I’m sharing with you as well, to start to walk in trust again. Pay attention to actions, not just of others but yourself as well. Start to trust yourself again, start to trust strangers again and make some new friends. In the time we live in of radical division and distrust, what can we do to start acting in a way that builds trust in our world?