How many of you have sat in a meeting that was taxing and at times tense, but seemed to have some clear takeaways based on a consensus? Then the following day all hell breaks lose and the chaos comes rolling in again. This happens all too often especially in today’s business culture of balancing and being expected to keep tabs on every project at the same time. Unpopular opinions: 1) Chaos is a result of patterns 2) These expectations are unrealistic though without diligent awareness and direct communication.
The patterns that cause chaos most often seen in professional and even personal settings are not rooted in uncertainty. Uncertainty is something that can never be avoided in totality, but our patterns do not have to feed the fear or become reactive to the point of chaos. In my experience one of the biggest patterns that leads to chaos is centered around effective communication or lack there of. The second pattern that feeds the chaos is the lack of prioritizing or choosing essential activities. When these patterns collide is when the chaos can amplify and without intervention or a big shift become standard procedure for organizations and individuals.
A caveat to these patterns and the chaos they with almost certainty breed, is that yes we do all have personal and professional obligations that can stretch our resources. This can be the root though to reflect and start with assessing, what expectations are we allowing others to set for us with communication, productivity and priorities? Because let’s be real most of us have to answer to someone whether it’s a client or investor if not a direct boss. What that doesn’t mean though is that we have to accept these expectations without advocating for ourselves our projects. This is where communication comes in to play in a big way. It has to be honest, objective and direct.
Some of the most challenging and daunting conversations I’ve had in my personal and professional life were not half as bad as I had played them out over in my head. And even those that were and didn’t go in my favor were not the end of anything that detrimental in the long term. In a professional culture that wants to promote positivity, flexibility and all of these new age ideals many times honest and open communication is glazed over or bypassed. In these situations this kind of healthy may break the cycle in terms of you setting yourself out as an effective communicator and initiating change or setting yourself out as it’s time to move on. Both can be incredibly empowering opportunities and beneficial to your experience.
I have had numerous experiences where I thought grit was a matter or who had the most tolerance and perseverance in toxic environments and I’m afraid that is the baked in culture of chaos when these patters collide. The lack of healthy communication along with false urgency or a waterfall of expectations is a recipe for burnout at best and project or even worse business failure over time. This can also be translated to our personal lives if we do not advocate and take control of the expectations and obligations we commit to. The practice that can be a cornerstone to learning and implementing in your own life is Essentialism, not saying no to things that aren’t good or even some that are, but saying yes to and pursuing those things that you can have the greatest focused impact.
I have referenced this book and will continue to as it has become the foundation for me to find fulfilling opportunities as well as identify when they become unhealthy and it’s time for me to move on. It is a part of the Self-Dossier I have created that helps build a personal awareness and framework to take into a professional setting to mitigate the chaos, offer your skills and experience in a healthy way and understand how you engage with people as well as the world around you. Essentialism is known as the disciplined pursuit of less based on the 4 principles: Choice, Explore, Eliminate, Execute by Greg McKeown. I will acknowledge that in our personal and professional lives the toughest of these to implement may be Eliminate, but it can also be framed as eliminate for now not totally writing it off.
Choice is the first principle and also was the most challenging for me to accept and own. I have the choice most of the time to do what I want to in my life personally and professionally. I have made the choices that have led to my current personal situation and career path to this point…yea let that sink in for a minute. You chose in some way, shape or form how to get where you’re sitting right now. That is not a judgement and sure there may have been other factors and external expectations, but you were not in most cases forced to a path. When we start to realize and revisit this (yes I have to often as a blunt reminder) it becomes empowering.
Every day we choose how to engage with friends, family, coworkers, neighbors, strangers and of course our phones. How often are we communicating directly? Who are we prioritizing? And when we’re engaging are we exploring things or leaving it at surface level? Most importantly are we present?
This is the footnote to all of the above, if our level of presence is spread so thin between all of the things going on around us we cannot possibly be expected to keep track of everything and communicate directly let alone from a place of even mediocre understanding in the moment. If we don’t eliminate or at least pause these distractions and begin to Execute on the things we can have the greatest impact with, we feed the chaos. We only retain pieces of conversations, our minds try to fill in the blanks distracted without a buffer before moving to the next. Now let’s step back again to “What if I can’t control any of this?” You can, you have to trust yourself and hone your awareness. It won’t happen overnight, it is a practice that takes work, focus and commitment. But the benefits of choosing this path of practice and awareness will overtime take significantly less effort. The amount of stress and chaos you will recognize will allow you to identify the essentials and how you can navigate the chaos to a more fulfilling and impactful experience in your personal and professional life.
It does get easier. When you increase your awareness, remove distractions and the perceived urgency of the expectations others try to place on your life you can truly leverage your potential while you lean into a new found presence.
-Ad Astra Per Aspera-